Caring for dogs with heartworms

If you know me outside of this blog, you're probably not going to be too surprised by most of what I say in today's post. But even if you do know me, you probably don't know that all three of our pups were recently diagnosed with heartworms - something no animal lover wants to hear.  Let me start from the beginning....

Over Memorial Weekend, my elderly greyhound (she's 11 years old) was feeling particularly frisky and pinned my 9 year old mutt down in a corner of the yard. I was in the shower at the time so, even though I could hear the ruckus, I couldn't get to them to see what was going on. My husband was working in the attic. By the time either of us to get to the girls, they were both bloody and injured.

We looked them over and discovered Sweetie, my 9-year-old mutt, had a chewed up ear and a canine tooth ripped out of her jaw but not out of her gum. Twyla, my 11-year-old grey, had a pretty good laceration on her forearm.  Fortunately, we have a vet tech in the family and after a few frantic texts and calls, we decided we could bandage the girls together and call the vet on Tuesday instead of the holiday weekend.  Both girls were pretty sore and laid low the rest of the weekend.

Since the vast majority of the household administration duties fall to me, I will admit that I had fallen a bit behind on their shot records. But, having worked for a vet previously myself many years ago, I knew we were still within the safe range of the necessary vaccines - but, we really did need to get things updated. Since we were at the vet and I had my husband on hand to help me with the dogs, we went ahead and had everything done.  Sadly, both dogs came back positive for heartworms.  We made an appointment to bring our youngest pup, Roscoe, in to be tested as well. Sure enough, his came back positive.

Our family vet has been aware that I prefer to take a more holistic approach to care and I had not been using traditional heartworm preventative. She said, that's fine, but clearly it's not working. Which is true, but I had to admit to her that it can't work if I don't give it to them. And I had gone back to look after the first tests came back and sure enough, it had been about a year since I had given any of the pups their treatment. Up until then, all their tests had been clear.

Standoff with the neighborhood cat.

I felt HORRIBLE.  Worst fur mama - EVER. We discussed our options and treatment plans. We were both concerned about the stress of the treatment for my older dog, but the vet strongly encouraged me to have the other two brought in for the traditional eradication treatment. I took the information home. I discussed it with my husband. And we began to research.

So this is where you might not be surprised if you know me already. I tend to take a rather cautious approach to modern medicine. I'm not sure if it stems from watching family members undergo chemo, or just a firm belief that God created our bodies to work in harmony - if we provide the proper environment of exercise, real food, and even down time. I belief our bodies can do a lot more than we give them credit for. If you find you need a little extra help, well, I try to take a more natural approach - oils, herbs, and vitamins. I'm not opposed to modern medicine by any means. I just don't feel like it should be the first and only option.

After a few restless nights and lots of research, we decided to stick with our holistic treatments.

The HWF and COQ10 supplements we're using.

So here's what I'm doing:

• HWF by Amber Technology 2x a day
• COQ10 supplement 2x a day during heartworm treatment, then down to 1x a day to provide heart support
• Raw Honey mixed with either raw peanut butter or plain yogurt, about 1 teaspoon each, 1x a day for additional anti-viral and protein support since they're likely not going to eat much
• Apple Cider Vinegar mixed in with their daily water for overall health support
• Bug spray daily, made from natural oils

Here's what I was doing before, but wasn't doing consistently that we must resolve to do a better job of:

• Keep fresh cedar chips in their outside dog houses
• Keep yard mowed and treated as naturally as possible for bugs
• Dump out any standing water as often as possible
• Keep up with monthly flea treatments (which we do monthly and year round in Texas)
• Go back to daily supplemental treatments to prevent further heartworm infestation. We've been using a product by Only Natural Pet. This time, I'm putting it on AutoShip.
• Dig up my unproductive flowerbeds (read - full of weeds) and replace them with natural mosquito repelling plants, such as catnip, lavender, rosemary, basil, lemongrass, and marigolds.  There's also a citronella geranium if you can get your hands on it.  

I was able to get my hands on some COQ10 over the weekend and we started the dogs on a 1x a day treatment.  Honestly, my 11-year-old should have been on it already.

We got the HWF in the mail today - Monday - not too bad considering I ordered it on a Friday afternoon.  I wanted to get the treatment started asap, so we gave them their first dose as directed on the pamphlet, followed by a honey and peanut butter ball as a treat.





I hope this is not something you ever have to face.  However, if you do, know that I'll share our results here, as openly and honestly as I always do. I'm not getting paid to endorse any product or method, so my opinions are my own. We're due to go back to the vet in a couple months for another heartworm test to see how the treatment is going. I'll post an update then.

It's just the beast under your bed

My generation and the world lost another light this week with the passing of Chris Cornell. If the name doesn’t sound familiar to you, his voice most assuredly will.

As the lead singer for the Seattle “grunge” band Soundgarden, he helped shape the sound of the 90s and beyond. His solo credits include a James Bond theme song – the first American to claim such an honor.

As a kid growing up smack in the middle of the 1990s and the associated music scene, this feels almost like a bad record constantly skipping to the same line over and over. Kurt Cobain, Layne Staley, Scott Weiland, Dime Bag Daryl and so many others who made music history just gone.

Some will point to the rocker musician lifestyle. Some will say they did it to themselves – drugs, alcohol, you name it. And perhaps to a certain extent that is true. But, take a moment if you will to look over the course of history at other strong artistic influences that changed the world and you will find a damaged soul doing their best to cope with the world around them.

Oliver Wilde, Shakespeare, Hemmingway, Picasso, Bach – just to name a limited few – all had terrible reputations while they were alive, each one battling their own demons. But, with the perspective of time and distance, we now regard each of those as influential savants – geniuses even.

I’ve often been struck by this paradox. As an artistic soul I’ve battled a few of those very same demons.  Artists – whether it’s writing, painting, singing, cooking, acting – see the world from a completely different angle. That’s what makes them special and unique. That’s where their muses come from – the cracks in the walls everyone else passes by. They lend their heart and soul to the creation of something bigger than themselves and release it to the mercy of the world. It leaves an already hypersensitive psyche exposed to the elements.

Every artist has to deal with this somehow. To deny the art would be to suffocate their very spirit. Some, consequently, turn to drugs, alcohol, sex or other risky behaviors to numb the vibrations. Others become meticulous and obsessed with controlling the rest of the world around them. From demanding only green M&Ms backstage, to insisting that the lights and sounds be run and checked again, to flipping out if the costumes aren’t coming together just the way they had envisioned, to locking themselves away in their homes – what seems like spoiled star behavior to the outside is really their way of focusing on anything else to quiet the visions and voices all around them. 

This perfectionism can also lead to appearing as driven. Indeed, many, if not most, “driven” people I’ve encountered in life suffer from bouts of depression and anxiety. They are driven because – well, because it’s never enough. It’s never good enough or big enough or powerful enough. Whether it’s a song, performance, manuscript, or budget meeting, it was never enough. And if you’ve never had this experience personally, it can seem rather self-destructive from the outside.  Which, of course, it is. 

We burn the candle, not only on both ends, but often right up the middle, too, convinced if we can squeeze just another few hours of candlelight out that it will finally be “enough.” Which, it isn’t. And then the whole thing falls apart and we along with it.

The fortunate ones are surrounded by supportive friends and family. Those who recognize the flames for what they are. And they can carefully and gently reel us back in and help us put the pieces back together. Others, sometimes, are not so lucky. Or – feel as if no one really understands. Or – they’ve exhausted all their supports completely. Let me tell you, dear reader, that is a dark and scary place to wake up. And you will do anything to escape.

As a new journalist student, I was given an assignment to write a story on an influential student.* This student was non-traditional like me and we had a few other classes together so I was familiar with them. They were described by professors and peers and “driven.” One professor even said, “I don’t know where it comes from but there is a fire there that just keeps burning.” He was more on the nose than I think he ever realized.

This student told me during my interview that thoughts of suicide trickled in from time to time. It’s just too much, they said. Although I’m withholding name, age, and gender, know that this student was battling on many warfronts. And yes, they were driven. Because they sensed the urgency for change and it was way too much for any one person.

Another person whom I never met while they were alive but I can confidently say was driven was my grandfather. As a son of German immigrants he signed up to serve in the United States Army during WWII.  He stayed on and was stationed in a MASH unit on the frontlines of the Korean War (no – that’s not just a great scenario for an old TV show.) During that tour, he received a Bronze Star, but he never talked about it. Unfortunately, he died of a heart attack in his early 50s. Sometime after his death, we found the paperwork for his star – basically, his was awarded the honor for doing his job.  How driven do you think you have to be to receive military honors for doing your job? The thought of it still blows my mind. I imagine that the stress of that kind of perfectionism contributed to his early death.

Driven people change the world, but often at a very high price.

I can think of one other incredibly driven person that changed the world – Jesus. He was born with the task of not only changing the world, but saving it. And He knew He would not be well received. But He did not deny his task.

“And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” Philippians 2:8

And lucky for us! Because His sacrifice is the only one that matters – that truly changed the world.

“But he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.” Isaiah 53:5.

Dear reader, I don’t know where life finds you right now in this very moment. I don’t know what season you are in or what demons you are facing today. But please know that those demons can be reined in – but you cannot do it alone. If you are driven, if you are battling, you are not ever alone.

“Surely I am with you always, to the end of the age.” Matthew 28:20

Recipes are really just suggestions

My husband and I often find ourselves on different sides of any number of issues. Like toast, for example.

We had a heated family debate a few years ago about whether or not you're supposed to butter the bread BEFORE or AFTER it becomes toast. I was firmly in the "butter goes on before" camp and he staked out territory in the "after" camp.

We both had solid reasons. Mine were, putting the butter on before makes the toast more - toasty.  You know, nice and creamy and buttery. Not hard and dry with butter being a soggy after thought.

He contended that putting the butter on before you toasted the bread smooshed the bread and was much more likely to tear giant holes in it - meaning your jelly was going to make a giant mess.

Being at an impasse, I did what any logical person would do and took to Facebook to poll our friends.  WOW!  We unleashed a fire storm! The opinions came in fast and furious and we soon discovered that our kitchen table was a microcosm of the American public opinion. Well, at least when it comes to toast.

I had one industrious friend run a test sample - one piece buttered before and the other after. He posted his results saying he was surprised to find that there was indeed a difference in the final product. But, he really couldn't decide which one was better as they both had merit.  What a wonderfully diplomatic answer.

Another heated are of contention is stacking dirty dishes in the sink - but I'm not touching that nuclear warhead today.

Instead, how do you feel about recipes?  Are they guidelines? Suggestions? Or hard and fast rules?  Once again, my husband and I disagree.  I say they are merely suggested guidelines and it's ok to fall outside the lines and change it up. My husband says - not so fast!  Recipes must be followed to the letter or else the whole thing might be a terrible failure.

Again, I can see where his argument has merit.  But some of our favorite family recipes were born out of necessity.  Oh, the recipe calls for nutmeg? I'm fresh out. Um....let's try Apple Pie spice.  Liquid Smoke for that roast? Darn. I knew I forgot something at the store.  What about Coke?  But, if you're cooking for a large crowd, I can see where sticking to measurements can be imperative. 

Granted, I've been playing around in the kitchen long enough to know what flavors blend, what doesn't. And what flavors sound just crazy enough together to actually work. And, you might be ok by fudging on this portion or that one to make it all balance out.  

So which camp do you fall in with? Recipes are just there to kind of guide you along? Or, they are to be followed at all costs?

A very merry unbirthday to you

My birthday was this week.  The day is almost always a contemplative one for me.  If you had spoken to my 18-year-old self and asked where I thought I’d be in 20 years, my honest reply would have been, “Dead.”

Up to that point in my life I had made some life choices that weren’t conducive to a lot of years on this earth.  That, coupled with some family health histories, I truly believed that I wasn’t long for this world. 

I certainly never would have imagined, if I did make it past 35, that I’d be a homeschooling mom of four, working as the director of a non-profit, back in my hometown, and married for the second time.  (Ok, I probably wouldn’t have been surprised at the divorced/remarried bit. I was never good at relationships – or being alone.)

I also tended to be a naturally morose child, but I’ve come to appreciate that it probably stems from an artistic and driven spirit.  So when my birthday rolls around each year, it never fails that I wind up spending time reflecting – where am I at this stage in my life, what have I done with the time I’ve been given so far, what am I going to do with the time I have left?

This year has been particularly tough, however.  I’m nearing one of those signpost years. You know the ones – “By the time I’m  ___  I’ll have XYZ under by belt and moving on to ABC.”  And as I take time to reflect on where I am and where I’m reasonably headed, I must admit that I am not even close.  For some things that’s good, but for others, not so much.

My project house that I started as a single mom headed back to school is still a project house.  Seasons of Christmas, Easter, birthdays, and other family gatherings have come and gone and I’ve not been able to truly host an event at home due to the construction.  As the kids get older, sleepovers are a little more sensitive. It’s not enough to “camp out” in our travel trailer. They’re embarrassed. They’d rather stay at their friend’s house or see if Nana will let them crash there or just - not.  So there goes being that mom – the cool mom, with the fun house, where every kid wants to go after school. (Not that I really had a chance at being that mom anyway because I have never been accused of being “cool.”)

Oh sure I try to tell myself it’s ok because we’re spending our time and money elsewhere – getting the farm up and running, taking care of our kids, volunteering at the church, helping this organization or that project. And that’s all true. But, I can still feel the pang of jealousy when I visit my sister, see other families on the latest social media outlet, or see that “look” from the kids when I suggest their friends spend the night at our house this time.

Granted, we have four kids. One in football, one in competitive dance, one in braces with a list of other needed orthodontic work, and one with persistent health issues. Did I mention that three of the four kids are teenagers? And two of those three are boys?  Going to the grocery store and sticking to any kind of budget feels a bit like dividing fish and loaves of bread among the masses. And don’t get me started on thinking about college!

The day of my birthday, I was greeted with a notice from the bank to transfer funds because the balance was a little low. (ok, the numbers were highlighted in red.) Definitely not the situation I thought I’d be in at this stage in my life.

I’m sure from the outside it looks like we have it all together as a family.  I was humbled not too long ago when a fellow from our church said he could tell I was a Christian just by the way I carried myself.  I wanted to cry – it was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever said to me.  At the same time it was the scariest.

To be perfectly honest, there are many MANY times I feel like a fake.  Beit, professionally, personally, spiritually, you name it.  It feels like I’m strapped to the seat of life with Scotch tape, rocketing 1,000 MPH straight into the sun. At any minute, the tape will melt away and I’ll be exposed as the fraud I am.

I’m resentful and angry towards my husband; I get impatient with the kids; I get jealous of the gifts of others; I overspend; I disappoint those who trust me; truly I could just keep going.

The truth of the matter is that we’re all failures, all frauds, all fakes. None of us really have it together. Some of us are just so experienced in holding it all in that it looks like we really have our act together.

Of course, we don’t have a corner on the market:

“The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” Genesis 6:5

“They have all fallen away; together they have become corrupt; there is not who does good, not even one.” Psalm 53:3

“We have all become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a polluted garment. We all fade like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.” Isaiah 64:6

“For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”  Romans 3:23

Ouch! What’s a girl to do? Throw her hands up and say, fine – whatever. We’re all doomed anyway. Not so fast:

“For while we were still weak (sinners), at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” Romans 5:6

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”  Ephesians 2:10

Yeah, we’re going to mess it all up. We’re going to disappoint those around us, even ourselves. We’ll fail to live up to expectations. We’ll tear down relationships and soak bridges in gasoline before we burn them down. The question isn’t really, “What if I fail?”  It’s a statement, “When I do fail.”

But we continue the fight. We recognize that we’ve placed ourselves as idols in our own life and we’ve focused on the worldly distractions. And we hit our knees, pray for strength, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and wisdom.

“He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.” Hebrews 12:1

Work, Work, Work

I missed my last Friday Reflections post because I was out of town for an all-weekend meeting.  Then homeschool conference the next Friday. And then we had a round of the crud move through our house. I was feeling all bummed out because I started this year off fully committed to one post per week. Every Friday. I even had a rotation made up so I wouldn't have to think too hard about what to say.  And here I was halfway through February and on into March, sick, tired, busy, and already behind schedule.  UGH!

One of our experiments at the start of the year: build Pharaoh's boat.

But even on a "good" day, things are kinda crazy. Here's a typical day in my world:

5am - wake up (assuming I haven't already been awake for a few hours)
5-5:30am - let the dogs out, check and clean up any overnight deposits, get coffee started, feed dogs, consider finishing last night's dinner dishes.
5:30-5:45am - a little quite time with my coffee and Bible study
5:45-6am - If it's a track day - wake up my track star, look over homeschool schedule for the day and print off any worksheets we might need, look over any assignments I might have missed the night before.
6-6:45am - wake everyone up - again, if I'm lucky I can take a shower, if not - pull out frozen meat in preparation for dinner, get clothes on, face washed, teeth brushed
6:45-7am - Mad dash to gather materials and finish anything I need to before school starts at 7am
7-7:45am - School starts. For us, we use this time for Bible study, and one or two other items. This might be read aloud time (we're doing Odysseus now), spelling, vocabulary, or science experiment. It just depends on what I might need their undivided attention for on that particular day.  We then go over the schedule for the rest of the day, pack up and head to my office.
8-4pm - Since I homeschool AND work full time, the kids come to the office with me each day. On Mondays, we participate in a homeschool coop so that gives them a little break. But generally, I line our their individual schedules for the day. I TRY my hardest to have all their schoolwork done by 1pm. We can then check work during my lunch break, go over any tricky concepts and then have the afternoon to either complete big projects, chores, read, band practice, or chill.
4-5pm - Run kids to band practice, dance practice, track practice, youth group at church, or any combination there of.
5-6pm - Finish checking work as needed, do a second round of picking up from various practices, and start dinner
6-7pm - cook dinner if I didn't get it into the crockpot that morning, then eat said dinner.
7-7:30pm - Possibly complete third and final round of practice and church pick-ups.
7:30-8pm - Look over next day of homeschooling and create three individualized schedules. Check emails or complete other follow ups leftover from the office during the day. Top it off with a glass of wine.
8-8:30pm - wash face, get ready for bed. Promise myself that I WILL make it all the way through a single episode of NCIS this time.
8:30-9pm - fall asleep at some point. But, to be honest, I almost never make it all the way through an episode.

Are you as tired as I am yet?  Sheesh!

But, did I mention one of the reasons I didn't make a post earlier was because I was at a homeschool conference? Yeah, and it was so worth it! You know what I learned there?
#1 - You're not ruining your kids.
#2 - Praise God that His mercies are new every morning.  
#3 - Pick two or three things that are important to you. 
This works even for just your regular schedule. Don't try to get 20 things done today. Pick your top three.  Same with your homeschooling schedule.  What's THE MOST important thing(s) you want your children to learn at the end of the day?  For me, when I got serious about that question, it made my day so much easier. Yes, it still looks ridiculous when I write it down, but I don't have panic attacks halfway through the day that I'm only a quarter-way through a mile long list.
For my homeschoolers, I decided that I wanted them to have a firm foundation in the Bible above all else. So we do our Bible studies before we do anything else.  Then, I want them to have a love and appreciation of reading. Because with that, they'll be able to find the answers to anything. So, we do something from our Language Arts curriculum next, from read aloud time, to vocabulary words (we're studying Greek root words this year), or the occasional spelling test. I've kinda gotten away from spelling tests, although we do some spelling work during the day. But more on that later....
My third thing is Science.  I homeschool two girls and a boy and they all have a healthy appreciation of the sciences. As they get older, however, the lessons are getting a little harder. So, if there's time, I try to carve out a few minutes for particularly tricky lessons early in our day before I start to loose their attention and focus.
#4 - Now that you've decided what's truly important to you, do more of that. And...less of everything else.  
I mean it. Let it go.  That's why we don't stress out over the spelling tests anymore.  They are all old enough now to have a good handle on most words, they are familiar with the dictionary, and - let's face it - we all use Spell Check. Occasionally, if I see that we're really having trouble with a particular group of words, we'll find time to work in some spelling assignments. But generally, I don't test on spelling anymore.
#5 - Expect to fail. And when you do, refer back to #2.
Now, I can't take credit for this list. I had the opportunity to listen to homeschooling mama and authoress Sarah MacKenzie while I was there. She is AMAZING!  I picked up her book while I was there and it's on my "To Read" list. Along with about a half dozen others.  Um - seriously.  If you homeschool or parent in any form or fashion, I highly recommend picking up her book.

About a fourth of my post-convention reading list.

I hope to work through my reading list and report back often on what I find.  First up, I'm reading The Gift of Learning by Ronald Davis.  It seemed like a good place to start after I left that first session in tears realizing that they were talking about MY KIDS. I found the presenter in the vendor hall later and just sobbed on her shoulder.  She said it happens all the time. I'm not sure if she was just being kind or not but there were certainly a lot of light bulb moments for me through out the entire weekend. My brain was just full of thoughts and ideas when I left the convention.  Check back for updates and ideas!

Gelatto Break with my Littles!

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. ~Lamentations 3:22-23

Cashews for Insomnia

I have always suffered spells of insomnia, even when I was a kid.  In fact, that's where my love for cheesy late night flicks started. I mean, not much on the TV in the middle of the night back in the 80s and 90s for a farm kid with no cable. But, I digress.

Honestly, I never realized how much of an issue it was until I became a married adult.  Then, suddenly, I couldn't get up quietly and lay on the couch without disturbing the entire household. So I would stay in bed and flop, and flip and stare and wish myself to fall asleep, but it was never any use. I'd end up laying there for hours on end only to eventually give up, get up, disturb everyone and then spend the rest of the day navigating grumpy attitudes all around.

Some people tell me that I don't REALLY have a sleep problem.  It's a learned behavior, natural sleep cycle, I drink too much caffeine (or drink it too late), it's stress related, anger related, hormone related. Get the idea?

Quite honestly, I don't really disagree with them, but I don't fully agree either. The fact is, except for my stint in the US Army, I am really a super light sleeper. And once I'm awake, that's it.  However, because I believe that we CAN make lifestyle changes to improve our overall well being, I started doing some research on possible natural remedies.

Have you ever heard of over the counter Melatonin?  If not, you might look for it the next time you visit your local health food store.  It's a natural chemical in your brain that helps regulate sleep. Sometimes, it can get out of whack and so a supplement is helpful.  I don't use it on a continual basis though because I tend to build up a resistance to it. Well, that's probably not 100% accurate. I guess my body decides it's all caught up and doesn't need any more supplementing.

Recently, I stumbled across an article that suggested CASHEWS as a sleep aid and anti depressant.  I already love the little nuts so I thought, let's see what this is about.  And, on the surface, it makes sense.  Cashews have high levels of magnesium, which is another chemical your body uses to help regulate sleep.  And, let's face it, they are tasty.

For the last several days, I've eaten a small handful of them in the evenings when I get home.  I usually snack on them while I fix dinner.  And I will say that I have slept better on those days!

Now, I'm not a licensed anything. I don't have an advanced degree in anything that counts for much.  So please, do your own research. Talk to your doctor.  And, of course, if you have a nut allergy, don't try this at home.

Cashews might not be a fix in the long run, but I'll take my wins where I can get them.  Plus, it's better then chowing down on cookies or potato chips.

My LLR Addiction

A friend of mine introduced me to my new addiction a while back. It's a little clothing company called Lu La Roe.

At first, I bought a couple items here or there - whenever she hosted a party.  I wanted to support her but I didn't really know what to do with these leggings. I mean - mom of 4 - hello! Are these really appropriate at my age?

I had a few pairs in my drawer for a while - never really working up the courage to wear them. Then my husband and I volunteered to take part in a dancing fundraiser. I decided I'd pull those leggings out and wear them to practice.  I was hooked!  Those things are so darn comfortable!

But, still, I didn't wear them outside in "public" too much because I was just still so unsure.  Finally, I bit the bullet and introduced myself to Irma.

If you're not familiar with the lingo yet, each of the pieces in the Lu La Roe line is named after a designer.  The Irma is a longer, flowing tunic that generously covers areas that a mother of 4 would appreciate having covered. So, I got a little braver and started wearing the set out in sorta public places.

Then the Christmas leggings hit!  Those are so fun! I accidentally bought 2 pairs, but...who's counting?

I have two daughters as well and they quickly noticed that Mom suddenly had new stuff!  (Perhaps I should have mentioned that several pieces in my wardrobe are older than ALL my children.)  Naturally, they were curious.  So, what's the big draw here? Well, let me break down MY top 5 reasons for loving Lu La Roe:

1) Super fun online shopping.

I'm a working mom of 4 that I also homeschool.  Sooo....generally my available shopping hours fall well outside of the normal department store hours. Besides, have you ever gone shopping with children? No? Well let me tell you a story....

A few months after I gave birth to my second child, I decided I was going to load the kids up and go swimsuit shopping.  The kids were too little to be left unattended so they were in the dressing room with me.  I try on my first suit - and my then 3-year-old son says, quite frankly, "Mom, that one's too small for you."    Yep. No swimsuit season for me that year!

So, yeah, shopping with children, no matter what their ages, is always barrels of fun.  Online shopping is where it's at.

2) Modest cuts and flattering lines.

I'm going to up the ante here - Have you ever been shopping with GIRLS?  Teen girls?? Oh My! I don't care what I pick out or suggest.  It's the WORST thing they have EVER laid eyes and oh my goodness I'm out to RUIN the rest of their lives if I force them to wear THAT thing!

With LLR, I can say, look, here's your budget. See if you find anything. And I can feel fairly confident that I can live with whatever they come back with. No booty shorts with cheeks hanging out. No vapid or suggestive slogans. Nada.  The whole line is designed with wonderfully refreshing modesty.  AND - it looks nice - not frumpy at all!

3) This is really a two-for....

As a woman who works in a professional environment, it can be SUPER difficult to find appropriate clothes. If you go to the department store and fall somewhere between 16-year-old cheerleader and Nancy Reagan (whose sense of style I LOVED), it's hard not to walk out feeling like Madonna. And I mean Madonna today - not the 1980s version. And while that might work for the Material Girl, not so much for me. I want to look like a grown up without looking like someone's great-grandmother or a 50-year-old stripper.

Enter LLR.  You can mix and match all the various pieces and styles (and there's a lot) and end up with a truly customized wardrobe.  Not one for the crazy patterns?  There's tons of solids, strips or polka dots to be had.  Feeling like a little flare would be ok? Match those wild leggings with a solid top and you've got a touch of personality while still showing restraint.

4) Versatility is endless

The designs and fabrics are comfortable and flattering. I can dress the leggings up or down, depending on what accessories I pair with it. And for someone whose day can go from meeting with elected officials, to loading and unloading food from coolers, to meeting with clients and volunteers, all the way to taking out the trash - I have to be ready to roll while looking like I actually know what I'm doing and can be taken seriously.

Also, I travel - a lot. And I'd like to think that I've gotten quite good at the capsule wardrobe thing.  But with LLR, you can really stretch your wardrobe pieces. Combinations are endless and with just a few pieces, you can end up with a week's worth of outfits. Plus, they pack WONDERFULLY and need very little time to de-wrinkle.

5) Camouflage

Let's face it - we all go through times when we need to cover up or conceal things here and there. Too much turkey at Thanksgiving? Well, it's a good thing the leggings have some give.  Still carrying that baby weight (let's not talk about how old the baby is)?  The Perfect T has a generous cut around the bottom with a nice fit at the top.  Bloated today?  Carly is your friend. I personally love her.

I also happen to be involved in self defense and I would LOVE to talk to any ladies out there who might need more insight in this area. Let's just say that things fit nicely, allow a lovely range of movement, and you can conceal on person without feeling like you're 007 deep undercover.  If you get it - great. If not - not a big deal. Still tons of reasons to love Lu La Roe.

Can you see Mimi sneaking in a photo bomb?

No use crying over broken wine glasses

This post is a little late (and long) because after an incident at the house this morning, I decided I had a different idea.

One of my objectives is re-booting this blog was to provide a place for people to be real. To provide an alternative look at real life - outside of the glossy Facebook posts and perfect Pinterest creations. So in order to do that, let me be real with you for a moment -

We are a blended family of six.  Together we have four children  - let me rephrase - four adolescents in our home at all times.  The oldest is 13, the youngest 11; two boys, two girls; two genetically linked to me and two genetically linked to him.  But as I tell the children (and myself) frequently, there is a reason God put us all together as a family.  And that's important - because of days like today.

The oldest happens to be a boy and happens to be genetically linked to me.  He's 13 and has recently blossomed into a very social kid.  Here's a bit of background as to why this is important:

Growing up, I knew I'd be a really rockin' aunt. But I didn't want children of my own.  Somewhere along the line, I was told that I would most likely NOT be able to have children of my own due to a "hostile uterus" (thank you Grey's Anatomy for making that a real thing).  Then, I had a miscarriage. It was oddly devastating. I say that because I didn't even know I was pregnant until it happened.

But, I went on with life. My husband, who was in the military, was transferred to New York about that time. I landed a job at a Vet Clinic, made a really great Army Wife friend and life was really good.  Then, after several weeks of being sick, I found out I was having morning sickness!

I went in and did all the preliminary new-pregnancy stuff. I was reminded again not to get too excited because of my previous miscarriage. Also, because when I started my new gig at the Vet Clinic, I had to get several vaccines done, including rabies.  The doctors told me that usually the vaccine, given that early in the pregnancy, causes spontaneous miscarriages or other development complications.  But it was too early to tell.

So there I sat - literally thousands of miles from home with a ticking time bomb in my belly and all I could do was sit. And wait. I vividly remember sitting in the floor of my shower that night just sobbing.

After about a month, I was far enough along they decided to try an ultrasound to check on the baby and get a more accurate read on how far along I was.  And there he was - well, I didn't know he was he yet. It was still too early for that.  But the technician had a heck of a time getting a good read because the baby would NOT sit still!  He couldn't read the heart rate, couldn't get a measurement of length or weight.  We must of sat and turned and pressed a million different ways until the guy gave up and just made the best guess he could and said we'd tray again - later.

There's so much more to the story, but here we are - now - smack dab in the middle of "later." As I sit, looking into the eyes of my now 13-year-old miracle baby boy. He's mad at me. Beyond mad.  I've had to put my foot down with him (which doesn't happen often). He is suffering the most unbearable punishment for any 13-year-old in today's world - I've taken away his phone.

This was just supposed to be a short sentence. He didn't get out of bed in time and missed the bus. One of the consequences for such a thing is limited electronic usage.  But, to make matters worse, he laid in bed until well past time to be up, especially since I have to wade through school traffic to get him there on time.  So he got fussed at - again.  In response he stomps into the kitchen, throws a plastic lunch container on to the counter, where it immediately bounces off a glass plate and crashing into my set of wine glasses next to the coffee pot.  One is now crumpled on the counter in pieces.

Now, these are not especially expensive glasses or family heirlooms, but they were a Christmas gift from my husband. The broken glass just cost my son his phone for much longer than a day. Not only that - his computer. And now, instead of getting to go hang out with Nana at Sonic after school (a regular Friday treat), he would ride the bus home and clean the kitchen.

Dead silence. Cold stare. Ouch.

And sometimes we all experience that kind of anger toward someone. Unforgivable, unspeakable anger. And all we can do is glare coldly in their direction.  I suppose the comfort there is that only those we really choose to let in can get under our skin that deep.  It means we're still alive, even if the drone of everyday life seems to be sucking us dry. Even if it feels like we're all alone.

As we drive to school I tell him that although I realize he did not mean to break anything, there were still consequences for our choices and actions. And sometimes - many times - when we act out of anger we create more problems.  If he had just gotten up, excepted the fact that he overslept and went about the business of getting ready for school instead of staying in bed for another hour, he would have gotten his phone back after school, gone to Nana's and that would have been it.  Unfortunately, that was not the choice he made.

I tell him I love him even when he's mad at me, as he climbs out of the car. No response. Just closes the door and walks to the building. And admittedly it's hard for this mama to take.

I love all my children - don't get me wrong.  They are each so very different from each other in their own unique and wonderful ways.  Sometimes, we clash and butt heads, but really - for someone who thought they would never have children - God has blessed me with a wonderful bunch of little people.

But - my oldest and I have been through so much together. Most of it he has no memory of but I do. For so long it was just me and him. He didn't talk until he was 3 because - well, he didn't need to. Mom just knew.  We co-slept; snuggled; hugged in public (up until the last year). He never hesitates to say I love you.  And in a sea of blonde haired, blue eyed, extroverted family members, we are the only two brunettes with dark eyes rockin' in the introverted corner. Without him, I'd really be like an odd duck surrounded by water but no desire to swim.

Now before I have CPS knocking on my door worried about a co-dependent, parent-child relationship, I have fully embraced and acknowledged my role as a parent - to get my little fledgling ready to fly away from the nest - but that's a post for another time. For now, just now of the four children we have in our home, I homeschool three. My oldest still attends public school because I felt like he needed the structure more. Because we were so bonded, I knew I could not be an effective teacher to him. My younger three - well, again - that's a post for another time.

I wonder, how many times have my children witnessed me loosing my temper? Making a bad decision or just reacting without thinking about the consequences?  Well - the honest answer is A LOT.  I'm now sure we know each other well enough to get that real yet. Just know that I am 100% human!

But there's good news - for my son, for me, for you.  The following verses will often provide me comfort. I hope they do the same for you.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end;they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 
~Lamentations 3:22-23

For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus
~Romans 3:22-24

And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
~John 8:11

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “...If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, ... But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.” Then Nebuchadnezzar was filled with fury, ... And he ordered some of the mighty men of his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and to cast them into the burning fiery furnace.

~Daniel 3:16-20(paraphrased)

So you see, there really is no use crying over broken wine glasses. We are all free to make choices. Sometimes they are good ones, sometimes not.  But good or bad, we are not free of the consequence of our choices.  However the grace and mercy of God is free, and unending.  We are never alone. And thank the Lord for that!

Friday Reflections: Prayer Journal

Splendidly drawn and vibrantly colored Prayer and Bible journals have recently become very popular.  Is it any wonder?  Some of the creations I've seen are simply stunning!  Unfortunately, while I do tend to have a flair for the dramatic, my drawing ability is somewhat lacking.

And when I say "somewhat lacking," I mean dolphins could probably draw a better stick figure holding a pen between their flippers than I could ever hope for.

Nevertheless, I was recently challenged and inspired to start a prayer journal of my own. So what is an artistically challenged girl to do? We KISS - Keep It Simple Sister!

I started with a simple spiral notebook and divided it into four sections: Praise, Confessions, Thanksgiving, and Requests (or Petitions).

Don't forget the coffee and devotion!

Praise

This is the very first stop on my Prayer Journal Journey.  Why? When we pray, we are entering His courts and so we enter with praise!  

"Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name." ~Psalm 100:4

This is where I write a passage to focus and mediate on. Perhaps it came from my morning devotional, or Sunday's sermon, or a particular passage that God has pressed on my heart.  If you're really struggling for a verse, I find the Book of Psalm is a wonderful place to start.  

Confessions

Next up - confessions.  

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." ~ James 5:16

This might be a very specific sin that I am aware of - loosing my temper, gossiping about the neighbor, resenting obligations, believe me - the list is endless.  And if for whatever reason I cannot think - not enough coffee, lack of sleep - Martin Luther provides some great examples of how we are to interact with our neighbors that I routinely fall short on. Didn't literally STEAL anything from your neighbor today? Well, great!  But - what did you do to SERVE your neighbor so that he might prosper?  Oh, well, ummmm.........

Remember, this is YOUR journal. It's just you and God. Now is the time to get real and let it all out. Plus, there really is something to writing it down. It makes it real, puts a name to it.  

Somehow when I think to myself, "Perhaps I really shouldn't have yelled at my husband like that, but come on - how hard is it to put your laundry away?"  It doesn't sound so bad - almost justified. But when I SEE it written down - "Yelled at my husband," well, it just gives me a different perspective.

Thanksgivings

Right about now, you might be wondering exactly how Thanksgiving is different from Praise.

"Thank God that he gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ." ~1 Corinthians 15:57

Think back to your school days. Perhaps your teacher praised you for a particularly well written essay, or your coach for a perfectly executed block.  Later, your friend thanks you for giving him a ride home or letting her borrow your favorite sweater. That's a bit oversimplified but perhaps that helps illustrate my point a bit.

This is where I record my specific thanksgivings: Thank you for providing through my husband's new job; Thank you for bringing the children home safe from their weekend trip; Thank you for your amazing love and grace and the gift of eternal life.  

Requests or Petitions

The fourth and final stop on my Prayer Journal Journey is Requests.  This is where I conclude my time by bringing my petitions to God in prayer.

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." ~Philippians 4:6

Sometimes my requests are specific: healing for a sick child, help withstanding a particular temptation, strength to face an oncoming battle.  Or, perhaps a bit more general: the courage to be more vocal about my faith, wisdom to make wise financial choices - you get the idea.

And that's all there is to it.  If you still need a little more color in your prayer life without channeling your inner Picasso, try using a different color for each section. For me, I find this simple method helps keep me focused during my prayer time, as my mind is endlessly restless and wondering.  

In the short time I've been using a Prayer Journal, I have also noticed a marked difference in my writing, my confessions and requests.  Slowly my focus has shifted from very specific, right here, right now to the bigger picture, the world outside of my little bubble.  Don't get me wrong. I still pray for my children, my husband, my family. I still bring specific people and situations before God as the needs arise. But by beginning in His word, focusing on what He already has done for me, God has provided a sense of calm well-being.  Yes - that meeting tomorrow is going to be a bear. But with His grace and mercy, I'll make it through - or I won't. And if I do not, well then God must have something much better in mind.  

What about you, dear reader? Is there a specific need weighing down your heart right now?  I challenge you to start a journal of your own. There's no right or wrong, the most important thing is to just sit down and talk with God. Perhaps you're hurt or angry - let Him know about it. Scared or worried? God is ready and waiting to help you with your burden. Or maybe your heart is just overflowing with joy! Wonderful! He would love to hear all about that!

"The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face shine on you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn His face toward you and give you peace." ~Numbers 6:24-26

But wait...there's more!

With the holidays fresh in our memories and hopefully one or two good intentions with the start of the New Year, I decided a post about food seemed like a great place to start.

As I mentioned before, I have a full-time job outside the home that also accommodates my homeschooling schedule. And while I am VERY fortunate and blessed by this fact, it also means that we are a VERY busy family.

On a rare occasion, we do grab a quick bite out to eat ($5 take out pizza, anyone?). But for this budget-conscious family of 6, eating out is a very rare treat and often a last resort (ie, out of town games, meetings or other programs). This means, scheduling and menu planning are a MUST. Unfortunately, even the best laid plans.....well you know.  Sometimes I forget to take meat out of the freezer. Sometimes I wind up having to work late or Husband gets shuttled out of town for a quick job. In situations like these, even my trusty slow cooker is of little use.

Just how much do I love my slow cooker? Well, someone once asked if I could only keep one singular kitchen appliance, what would it be? I said, without hesitation, my slow cooker.  Seriously, mine is a workhorse and often gets put to use 5 out of 7 days of the week, with the other two days being designated as leftover days.

So when dear sweet Husband gifted me with an electric pressure cooker for Christmas, I was a little skeptical. I mean - what could this thing do that my slow cooker couldn't already? Wasn't this just going to end up being another expense gadget taking up precious storage space in my kitchen?

Our first experience with the electric pressure cooker was a little mixed. We made rice and steamed some veggies in it all at once.  Not sure how this gadget worked, I used my normal rice to water ratio.  I will say the rice was cooked in record time over my current rice cooker, but when we opened it up - rice soup! I'm not kidding. Have you ever tried to scoop rice with a SLOTTED spoon?  I have since learned that you don't need as much water in a pressure cooker like you do a steamer because the water doesn't escape during cooking. My mom had a good chuckle over that one. Anyway...

After that I decided to poke around Pinterest and see if I could find any recipes for this new fangled contraption. Sure enough, I found lots of tips and tricks -including cooking ground meat from frozen! I'm probably a bit too excited about that one.

Tonight I decided to try my spaghetti squash. If you're not familiar with this veggie you are missing out. Spaghetti squash and it's cousin butternut squash make frequent appearances in our house due to their versatility. However, they are a BEAR to prep. I've tried pre-cooking in the over, microwave, and yes, my slow cooker, all with varying degrees of success.

I cut my spaghetti squash in half around the middle - so I didn't have to cut through the stem part. Then scooped out the seeds with a spoon, put it in the pressure cooker (cut side up) with a cup of water and set the time for 7 minutes.  And it worked wonderfully!

I decided to put it in a dish with a bunch of kale I had that I needed to use up. The bunch was a little small so I added some kale I had chopped and frozen earlier.

I started by heating about a tablespoon of olive oil in the pan, then added minced garlic and just a few little onions. After I sauted those for about a minute or two, I added the kale, a pinch of red chili flakes, a tablespoon of lemon juice, and 1/2 a tablespoon of rosemary. I stirred it all around until it was mixed well and the kale was wilted.  Then, using a fork, I scrapped the cooked strands of spaghetti squash into the pan to heat through.  That's it!

The kids did add cheese to their dishes later on and it probably could have had a wee be of salt added, but I find it's much better to not add salt during my cooking and let folks add what they want after.  In a family of 6, everyone has a different palette so I try not to add too much in on the front end.

Update: I've also tried cooking potatoes for mashed potatoes in the pressure cooker and it worked like a CHARM! Potatoes cooked in 10 minutes and mashed easily without being soggy or starchy!

Spaghetti Squash with kale and chickpeas

• One Spaghetti Squash
• One bunch of kale, de-stemmed and chopped
• One can of Chickpeas, drained
• 1 Tbs olive oil
• 1 clove of garlic, minced
• Chopped onion, to taste
• 1 Tbs lemon juice
• 1/2 Tbs rosemary
• Pinch of red chili flakes
• Salt & Pepper, to taste

Cut the spaghetti squash in half, around the belly, avoiding the stem area. Place in an electric pressure cooker, cut side up. Add 1 cup of water to the cooker. Set timer for 7 minutes and cook. Allow to cool before handling. 

While the squash is cooking, heat up the olive oil in a pan. Saute the garlic and onion for 1-2 minutes. Add remaining ingredients and cook just until kale is wilted.  Using a fork, scrap out the strands of the spaghetti squash into the pan and heat through. 

Serve immediately.

New Year's Resolutions

It's officially 2017 and it's been WAY too long since I've been serious about working on my blog.  Between working full time, being a mom of 4, plus homeschooling, I've found lots of easy excuses to get out of adding one more project to my To Do list.

BUT - it's a new year. And while I am not super big on making resolutions, I am resolved to get my blog going again and to be more serious about keeping it going.  From fashion (what?), to cooking, fundraising, homeschooling, self-care, and a focus on the Bible, my hope is to not only use this platform as a personal journal of sorts but a source of inspiration and comfort for others.

I promise to be brutally honest about my triumphs and failures, because, let's face it, there's LOTS of failures and I think we are too pressured to only focus on the triumphs without being real about the times we fall flat. But that's where forgiveness and mercy and grace abound. That's where I find peace and joy.

So, whether or not you made any resolutions; whether or not you're already struggling to keep your resolutions or if you're tackling 2017 with a roar; I hope you will come join me here from time to time and remember to give yourself a break.  Everyday is a chance to start over. We don't have to wait for a specific day or month or hour.  You can choose, right now, to make a different choice than you did before.

Today, I'm resolved to do two things - drink more water and work on my blog!

My goal starting out is one new post a week and MAYBE work up to daily posts. But we shall see.  :-)  What would you like to see first? Food? School? Faith?  What's weighing on your heart this New Year's?

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23